Inevitably when people work together, they have different ideas of how things should be done. It is important that people have effective ways of dealing with different perspectives and personalities when involved in a potentially conflicting situation.
Instructions: In order to evaluate how you respond to conflict, list people with whom you occasionally have conflict. Then use the form below by placing a check mark by the description of the way you deal with each individual. If there are strategies that you use and you would like to change, look through the preceeding lessons in the unit and decide what you might do instead. This is for your self-evaluation and is not an item for submission.
| 1. | Avoid the person | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 1 |
| 2. | Change the subject | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 1 |
| 3. | Admit that your are wrong, even if you are not. | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 1 |
| 4. | Give in. | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 1 |
| 5. | Pretend you agree | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 1 |
| 6. | Whine or complain until you get your way. | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 1 |
| 7. | Play the martyr. Give in, but let the other person know how much you are suffering. | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 1 |
| 8. | Try to reach a compromise. | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 1 |
| 9. | Try to understand the other person's point of view. | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 1 |
| 10. | Try to find a new solution both of you will find acceptable. | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 1 |
| 11. | Be persistent. Wear down the opposition. | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 1 |
| 12. | Use your authority. Order the other person to obey you. | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 1 |
| 13. | Use sarcasm or ridicule. | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 1 |
| 14. | Defend your position. | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 1 |
| 15. | Use your power to win your position. | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 1 |
| 16. | Acknwledge the conflict and work for consensus. | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 1 |
| 17. | Try to eliminate to gain the advantage. | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 1 |
| 18. | Other: | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 1 |
Constructive criticism is most effective when it is delivered in a relaxed manner. Criticism should exist to help the paraeducator or teacher understand what behaviors or work habits can be improved. Constructive criticism can be enhanced through the use of "I messages".
I messages give you a way to deal with conflict. "I Messages" can help you separate the person from the problem and allow you to deal with the situation at hand without being aggressive towards another person. I Messages let you explain to another person how their behavior or actions effect you, without being perceived as hostile.
The following activity is designed to help you practice using "I messages" as a method of solving problems.
| Conflict Resolution |
| For this activity you are to demonstrate the use of "I messages." The formula
for the I message is as follows:
I feel (description of the feeling) when (objective description of the event) because (how the behavior affects me). Remember, if after active listening the person confronted does not show an interest in problem solving, you are to give a stronger I message. |
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